Every cultural group has their own way of doing things, cuisines, rites of passage, language, and yes, disciplining children. From the Andes Mountains to Bushwick, Brooklyn, the bofetao has many different names and forms. Some deem it archaic, some say it’s old-school child rearing, and yet others justifiably cry out torture. Either way you view it, it’s awfully creative. I have some relatives, including my dearly beloved mom, who would’ve been able to work at Gitmo based on her bofetaos alone.
There was no time out when I was child. If I was particularly bad on a given day, I however might get a “knock out.” Then there was the bare kneeling on uncooked rice. Vittarroz short grain was the brand of choice. I think my cousin was forced to sing the jingle too. “No no diga arroz. Diga, diga…” You know the rest. If parents were feeling particularly religious, they would have you hold a bible on the open palm of an extended arm while the grains made their mark on one’s soft kneecaps. Then of course there was the BELT. Some of us were told to smell the leather before a whipping. If the belt wasn’t immediately available, an indoor clothesline or extension cord would do just fine. Lastly, there was the infamous Chancleta, the medieval weapon of Aztecs, Arawaks, Tainos, and the Toltec before us. Do you really think the easy slip-off design of the Chancleta is for leisure walking? Surely you jest. Easy access to a warrior’s arsenal is essential. Latina moms had different chancletas for different purposes. There’s anything from the 99 cent store flip flop for the daily coctazo to the leather bound, hand sewn chancleta for the forbidden curse- at-your-momma type affair.
However, what good would handing out pelas and cocotazos be if we didn’t have the cure to ease the pain? Mi Gente, we have the ying to that excruciating yang. Our remedies are exceptionally brilliant. We have all bathed in a tub of hot water and alcolado. What about arroz con leche for gastric problems? Just writing that sentence made my stomach churn. And, what is it with Latina moms and purgantes? Can we really crap away a sickness? Of course there’s Vicks Vapor-rub, the Latino cure-all. I have seen Vicks resuscitate dead viejas. If I ever hear “Sana sana colita” one more time, I’m going to flip out. My mom sang that to me as I bled profusely from two split-opened fingers on my left hand. (Note: This was not the result of a punishment. I was kidding about the Gitmo thing). My personal favorite however has to be rubbing salt and butter on a chichón, a head bump. For some reason, every time I see this I want to start biting the kid’s head and watch a movie.
So behave Mi Gente, but even if you don’t, you’ll be alright.
by Mark A. Virella
About Being Latino Contributors
As soon as I saw the title, I knew it had to be yours. LOL
I used vaporub for colds on my chest and under my nose when I was sick and still do. However I’m quite disturbed with the fact that you took this blog posting to talk about bofetaos cocotazos and kneeling on rice etc which are all ABUSIVE IGNORANT TACTICS to discipline children and before you or anyone else try to call me a sell out for saying that always remember just b/c something is culturally acceptable doesn’t make it right so I guess it joking about is a good coping mechanism. My partner was raised like this and has showed me marks etc and it hurt me to see him hurt. It infuriates me to se this type of ignorant and narrow minded behavior accepted or even encourage. Abuse is that don’t sugar coat and its rampant in our community and until ppl change its a cycle that’s passed down. Its this type of bs that reinforces the stereotypes about hispanics
This is absolutely hilarious MArk!! …Funnier because it’s so true!!
Absolutely awesome read!!
@NYCGIRL: I can totally agree with your sentiment. However, there’s a HUGE bold line between abuse and punishments meant to discipline. I hardly doubt a kid will be traumatized by a cocotazo, or kneeling on rice. I went through a lot of those tactics you deem “ignorant” and “abusive” and I thank my parents for having the vision to discipline me the way they did, chancletazos y correazos included. It is my opinion that it becomes abuse when the perpetrator has intent to hurt with physical damage. It also crosses the line from discipline to abuse, if the person is enraged at the time they’re “disciplining” the child/adolescent.
At the end of the day, we all have our personal inclinations and I respect yours.
LMAO Mark is a comedic genius.
There is a fine line between punishment and abuse. Although I suffered at the end of a few “chancletazos” that left me better for the wear, there were a few “correatazos” (with correas, cables, ganchos or whatever their hands reached first) that left me with a few serious marks and would definitely be catagorized as abusive by today’s definition. Would I say I was an abused child? Definitely not, because I grew up and understand the Latino form of “castigo.” Would Child Protective Services say I was an abused child? Yes, and would have probably taken me away from my parents inflicting me more pain and injury than any “correatazo” ever did.