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Let’s face it, we’ve all wished we could change something about ourselves at one point or another. Some tall people would like to be shorter, short people taller. Some people with curly hair want straight hair, and people with straight hair want it curly. And let’s not forget about the people who’d like things like smaller noses or bigger breasts.
Nowadays, things like noses and boobs can be easily purchased at your friendly neighborhood plastic surgeon’s office.
With the internet covering almost every corner of the globe, unrealistic beauty standards aren’t shoved in our face only in magazines and TV anymore, we are more exposed to them than ever. The American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery reported that “almost 9.2 million cosmetic surgical and nonsurgical procedures were performed in the United States in 2011.” That’s a heck of a lot of people wanting to change the way they look.
But, what happens when one of those people is your 7-year-old son and what he would like to change is the color of his skin?
School started a few weeks ago. My son got a new backpack, new school supplies, a new teacher, and there’s something else that’s new: a problem with his self-image. My husband is a dark Dominican and my youngest inherited his milk-chocolate color. He came home one afternoon declaring that he’s ugly because his skin is dark. I immediately asked him who told him that, but he refused to acknowledge that a bully is involved in this.
As a typical Latina mamá gallina, I was furious and would love to know who had done it so I could give the little brat a piece of my mind. But I kept my cool and told him his skin color is beautiful and that he’s a smart, funny and kind boy.
I also explained that people try really hard to be dark. I told him all about suntan lotion, tanning beds and spray tans and how being dark is seen as a sign of health and vitality. I guess he wasn’t too convinced, because a few days later he said he’d like to be white and blonde.
So I turned to the same source that helps propagate and perpetuate racism and image issues: the internet.
I Googled the expression “tall, dark and handsome” so he could see how it’s used to describe a good-looking man. I know, the “dark” usually refers to a man’s hair color, but it made him feel good, so whatever.
I showed him the tanorexic lady from New Jersey, Patricia Krentcil, who is willing to look like a chicharrón de cerdo as long as she’s dark. We laughed together and then I gave him the most convincing argument I had, telling him that who we are is way more important than what we look like and that people who are ugly on the inside like to say mean things to make beautiful people feel bad.
With racism still going strong and plastic surgery for teens on the rise because of bullying, I exhort all parents to focus on teaching our children about acceptance, compassion, equality and what really makes a person beautiful.
At the end of the day, what they learn at home has the biggest impact on their attitudes and beliefs. As for my baby, I wouldn’t change a single thing about him. He is perfect just the way he is, inside and out.
By Taína Haiman, guest contributor
About Being Latino Contributors
This is cute, sadly I have never been more happy to be so white and blonde than here on the US. On my country it did nto matter, here being white has helped me more than being Latina ever will. It’s very sad.
i wish i was Cristiano Ronaldo
Wow! I was JUST discussing this on my page!
But Latino is not a race. Slap that lid and tell him to be proud of whatever DNA and genes Nature gave him.
I really enjoyed this post, sometimes it’s your own people who will make comments about skin color,
There only one race!!!! Human!!
Blondes do have more fun, and that’s what hair dye is for.
Let them dream and express themselves at the end of the day they are all beautiful in our eyes! Encourage their individualities instead of pointing out their differences. If God wanted us all the same don’t you think he would have made us that way!
It’s funny how people think that Being white is the best thing in the world. I guess it is for some people who are not educated about life, culture and genes. I am soooo proud of my parents who always taught me that I was beautiful and continued to express it all the time. My parents are Dominican and I use to hear all the racist remarks in our family gathering about color and my parents will stay quiet and not give their thoughts or opinion about it. Love them for this. I guess my point is that we must set a foundation that we must love and embrace the way we are.
Wow it’s so sad to read this article him being only 7 and hating his dark skin. People in general can be cruel. We as parent must in still love and confidence in our children. My son has curly hair and some people look at it as ugly. At first it use to make me sad and i use to cut it off, but then I couldn’t let them win I kept my sons curly hair visible and every chance I can I would tell him, “baby you have the most beautiful curly hair”. He would stare at me and then smile.
I know, Nev, it made me sad when he first said it, but he hasn’t mentioned it in about a week, I’ve been reminding him of how cool and unique he is! He came home the other day announcing that 5 girls like him. “How do you know?” I asked. “You can tell when a girl likes you.” Lol, he’ll be fine!
That’s because of Republicans… Nah… Just fooling around… I see some folks here who mostly comment on political articles…
@ Yamid….now that is funny…
No one wants to white. That’s why the tanning industry rakes in billions a year.
It might be funny, but don’t laugh too much cause on BL Republican white Christian conservative heterosexual males are blamed for all the ills in life, even the weather!
@ Mario… I don’t know dude… Non-hispanic white Republicans tend to blame us black and brown folks for all the ills of America… So I guess is similar…
Sometimes those Repubs are correct. Canadians don’t invade our borders in hoardes and take part in drug and gang wars and steal identities and demand all the rights of legal citizens.
Mario, Canadians don’t invade our borders because the poverty level in Canada is way lower than Mexico and it’s way easier for them to get into the US anyway. And holy stereotypes Batman! Not all Mexican immigrants take part in drug and gang wars, etc. Oh, and Canadians, can visit places like Arizona without having to worry about it, even if they are here illegally!! Lucky bastards.
Can you believe this guy? Really Mario?
why you wanna change your color,i love chocolate women,i am white and i always wished to have a child like you,like your color,do not worry there is always someone who loved,loves,will always love you. i really love chocolate women.
why you wanna change your color,i love chocolate women,i am white and i always wished to have a child like you,like your color,do not worry there is always someone who loved,loves,will always love you. i really love chocolate women
Sorry about the mistake regarding my email,the second one is the right one.
Um why use this photo as an example? There are “unmixed” **Indigenous** Africans who are born with blonde hair.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buOT7ZkgUXI
I am aChristian homeschool mom who is married to a man of German/Italian descent. I am AA but my son developed a tone of skin that matches Latino. Funny though, my brother married a Latino female and my nephew is about 4 shades darker than my son. The thing is, my son used to always say he was white. I had to write a book explaining the combination of colors and how God loves us all- then what you said to your boy to get him to be proud of being TAN. But more than anything, he knows he’s a beautiful child of God and his color doesn’t make him! Thank you for this post.
interesting article reflecting the condradictions and challenges we struggle with on daily basis, but bad choice of photograph given that this is the natural appearance of these children and NOT an attempt to be be white.
I’ve been fighting this same thing with my little girl, only its gone on for years. We live in a predominantly white neighborhood, and she’s a brown girl with kinky hair. It’s so frustrating because she has the smoothest, most even skin tone I have ever seen in my life! She doesn’t even play with black barbies because they’re not pretty. I don’t know what to do, because I feel like I’ve tried everything.
This is sad and considering that one of the reasons that Latinos are so extremely diverse is due to the millions of African descendants both enslaved and free (yes, there were many free blacks in Latin America even though we all recognize the majority of blacks were not) that came to Central and South America. In my opinion, it is that diversity that makes Latinos fascinating when you see the exotic blend of European, African, and Native American features with a hint of Asian depending on the region.
It is the fault of Latinos that so many mixed, African, and Native American descendants have a low self-esteem. Just look at the beauty pageants contestants for the Ms. Universe contest, they were all pale and extremely Euro Centric in their appearance. Just look at the covers of many “Latino” magazines and see how pure “white” many of the celebrities Latinos praise appear. It is disgusting and shameful and yet many of the aspects of Latin culture such as the music the dances and the fod are heavily African inspired.
This should not be a surprise however since this is the same website where many “Latinos” were proudly sharing how their grandmothers told them not to bring home a black person even though many of them are probably black or heavily mixed with black themselves. Uncle Tom syndrome at its worse is in Latinos. Thank God my grandfather, who was from Puerto Rico, was always fiercely proud of his culture and the overwhelming African heritage it carried. I thought most Latinos were until I started reading some of the comments dedicated to Latinos on websites such as these.
spaniards, ie- people from spain are white. they have blonde hair/blue eyes aswell…of course, latino in the american context is one of being a mutt of african, indian and a small amount of white background.
I wondered why you had an Aborigine pic also. They have natural blonde hair and doubt they want to be white. Alot of these people comments are pretty inferior I think. The reason he is Black is not becuz of Africans being brought here and all that other B—— Patricia wrote. Africans aren’t all over the Globe. Look @ Aborigines they are not from Africa, What about the Negrito Islands or the Fijis? They are not from Africa. Your beautiful brown skin color comes from MELANIN. He is Melanic. Melanin give color to all nature living EARTHLY Things. If it don’t have HUE it is not naturally from this Planet. The sun kills whites, this is NOT Nature. Teach him about Melanin, nothing more nothing less. BTW @Mario, you are the Non Hispanic Repub! Why are you even on here?! Canada was invaded by Colonizers just as Georgia was, Michigan, Ohio, California and just about in every part of the Continent. Stfu