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Become an expert at flirting, Part one

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Flirting is foreplay in street shoes. It can be done anywhere men and women meet. Great lovers practice flirting constantly. You can flirt with a woman in nearly every social situation.

Flirting is the indirect display of interest between a man and woman. The underlying message, ultimately, is sexual interest. The most adept flirts have learned what kind of flirting is appropriate for every social situation and never cross that invisible line of impropriety.

Flirting can also be done without an underlying sexual meaning, though. Genuine warmth and interest in a woman can often be read as flirting.

If you are a single man, flirting is an essential skill in dating. But don’t stop flirting when you get into a committed relationship or marriage. Keep flirting with your lady. It’s great fun and keeps the relationship spicy.

So, how does a single guy flirt successfully?

1. A relaxed smile conveys self-confidence. So, smile genuinely.

2. Make eye contact. Don’t stare at her like a zombie, but use your eyes to express interest in her eyes, her hair, her lips, her neck, her nose.

3. Introduce yourself with a warm handshake. Make it firm, but not a vice grip. Hold it a second or two more while you’re speaking.

4. When she tells you her name, ask her if you may call her by her first name. Once she agrees, use her name repeatedly in your conversation. Everyone likes to hear their name. It’s bad form if you have to ask her to repeat her name.

5. Compliment her as the conversation moves along. Early compliments can be about her appearance in general, or specifically about her hair, clothing, shoes or jewelry. Ask creative questions about something about her.

6. Great Lovers are experts at appropriate touching. Learn touch techniques. It is seldom appropriate to grab a woman’s body as a form of flirting. That’s too overt. Part of the fun of flirting is that it is somewhat fleeting and subtly suggestive. Touch her on her hand, her forearm, her arm or shoulder while you’re talking as a way to draw emphasis. Now, you’ve entered her personal space. Do it delicately. But you have another potent touch weapon. If you are moving through a crowd, you can either have her take your arm or hold your hand. You could also let her lead and place your hand in the small of her back. Nothing below the belt line, though.

7. Great lovers are great listeners. If there is a follow-up phone call, email or text message, mention something she told you that you remember. Shows interest.

8. Don’t interrupt. Wait until she stops speaking to reply. Don’t just step on her words or jump in when she takes a breath. That shows that you’re more interested in talking than listening to what she’s saying.

9. Be a gentleman. Open doors, hold a chair, buy a drink…you know what to do.

10. Leave the conversation with a message. Ask for her phone number, email, or just ask for a date. Remember that you are 100% certain NOT to get a date that you DON’T ask for.

Watch for part two of “Become an expert at flirting” next week.


By Being Latino Contributor, Russell Longcore. Check out Russell Longcore at The Empower Network.

About Adriana Villavicencio

Dr. Adriana Villavicencio is the youngest child of Ecuadorian immigrants. She has moved 29 times in her life, taking her on a journey from California to Bangalore, India, and New York City, where she recently earned a Ph.D. in Education Leadership and works as a Research Associate at New York University. An avid traveler, Adriana has collected experiences in four different continents and 16 different countries. But as a former high school English teacher, some of her fondest memories are those of her brilliant and brilliantly funny students in Brooklyn and Oakland. Adriana has contributed to several publications including the Daily News and, and is a managing editor for the Journal of Equity in Education. She earned a B.A. in English and an M.A. in English Education at Columbia University, and currently serves on the board of Columbia’s Latino Alumni Association (LAACU). She enjoys scary movies with red vines, Sauvignon Blanc, and her Maltese dog, Napoleon.

To learn more about Adriana’s education consulting company, please visit

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author and should not be understood to be shared by Being Latino, Inc.

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