Now, now, there’s none of that happening here… but I got you to look.
You know why? Because, whether we admit it or not, we are fascinated by all things sexual. Sex inspires curiosity like nothing else.
When you want it, it creates preoccupation. When you’re not getting it, the lack of it is capable of making even the most temperate and faithful people take great personal risks to get it.
Sex holds promise. Sex sells.
Unless you’re able to and comfortable with hiring a professional, or lucky enough to find someone who agrees to having (and capable of maintaining) a genuine no-strings arrangement (a friend with benefit, perhaps), sex generally happens in the context of a relationship.
According to dictionary.com, a relationship is defined as – noun
1. a connection, association, or involvement.
2. connection between persons by blood or marriage.
3. an emotional or other connection between people: the relationship between teachers and students.
4. a sexual involvement; affair.
For some of us, relationships are easy to come by and for others they’re more illusive than the Holy Grail. Some without relationships want to know how to get one but won’t risk admitting it to their friends for fear of looking pathetic. They play along with whatever their circle is doing and pretend everything is okay.
Those in unhappy or unfulfilling relationships want to know how to improve them or how to get out of them with minimal damage. And, those fresh out of long-term dysfunctional relationships re-enter a dating world that has changed tremendously since they were last single. Most return to the front lines of dating time and again with their battle scars and their fears, and try to do the best they can without compromising their dignity… too much.
My area of concentration is dating, sex, and relationships and, since October of 2007, I’ve had the honor of both facilitating workshops and moderating a message board for hundreds of pretty impressive individuals through my group, “What is He/She Thinking?” We hold attendee-generated discussion on topics that we would never discuss with out friends or family and we discover that, regardless of our race, ethnicity, personal successes, or accomplishments, not a single one of us is 100% confident in the realm of romantic relationships, and that there is no one-size-fit-all answer.
by Alina de Varona
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