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Playing with orgasms

David LaChapelle

David LaChapelle

Standing in the shower this morning, reflecting on last night’s marathon orgasm festival, I thought about the word “orgasm.” Then, I started thinking about word games.

Here we go. Some letters don’t work.

Boregasm: getting off while bored. Your lady is lying on her back, staring at the ceiling while you’re giving it to her and she says, “Beige. I think I’ll paint the room beige.”

Contractorgasm: Sex with a builder.

Corpsgasm: sex with a Marine.

Corridorgasm: Sex up against the wall in the hallway.

Choregasm: Having sex because you think you should, not ‘cause you want to.

Diorgasm: Pulling up her pretty designer dress and porking her.

Eeyoregasm: Sex when you’re depressed and moping around like Eeyore the stuffed donkey in the Winnie the Pooh books.

Foregasm: Sex while playing golf.

Floorgasm: Sex on the floor.

Goregasm: What Al and Tipper have.

Hoargasm: Sex in a frosty morning field. (It’s called hoarfrost, guys.)

Igorgasm: Sex with Marty Feldman’s character in “Young Frankenstein.”

Litigatorgasm: Sex with a lawyer.

Moregasm: What you hope your partner is thinking while you’re doing her.

Norgasm: When neither you nor she get off.

Oargasm: Sex in a canoe.

Oregasm: Sex in a mineshaft.

Poorgasm: An inferior quality generic valium. I’m not sure that exists.

Poregasm: In the south, if it’s beyond poor, it’s PORE.

Roargasm: Make her get down on all fours and act like a lion.

Realtorgasm: Getting laid in a house that’s being sold by a realtor during an open house.

Shoregasm: Sex on the beach.

S’moregasm: Putting chocolate and marshmallow on your lady’s fun parts and licking it off. order xanax HER eat the graham cracker.

Snoregasm: Getting head while sleeping.

Soargasm: A reach-around in a two-person glider. Both of you are holding a control xanax no prescription.

Storegasm: Banging your partner in the Walmart bathroom.

Toregasm: Being so big tramadol no prescription you make her bleed.

Torreadorgasm: Sex with a bullfighter.

Victorgasm: Sex with a guy named Victor.

tramadol online Sex while in combat. Gives the term “foxhole” a whole new meaning.

Whoregasm: When you’re so good the hooker gets off.

Yourgasm: The one YOU have.

Zorrogasm: Sex with Zorro. Weak, but I couldn’t think of a Z word. Sue me.

Clever men can be Great Lovers.

For more articles by Russ Longcore, go to Russ Longcore’s Blog.

About Adriana Villavicencio

Dr. Adriana Villavicencio is the youngest child of Ecuadorian immigrants. She has moved 29 times in her life, taking her on a journey from California to Bangalore, India, and New York City, where she recently earned a Ph.D. in Education Leadership and works as a Research Associate at New York University. An avid traveler, Adriana has collected experiences in four different continents and 16 different countries. But as a former high school English teacher, some of her fondest memories are those of her brilliant and brilliantly funny students in Brooklyn and Oakland. Adriana has contributed to several publications including the Daily News and, and is a managing editor for the Journal of Equity in Education. She earned a B.A. in English and an M.A. in English Education at Columbia University, and currently serves on the board of Columbia’s Latino Alumni Association (LAACU). She enjoys scary movies with red vines, Sauvignon Blanc, and her Maltese dog, Napoleon.

To learn more about Adriana’s education consulting company, please visit

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author and should not be understood to be shared by Being Latino, Inc.

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