Standing in the shower this morning, reflecting on last night’s marathon orgasm festival, I thought about the word “orgasm.” Then, I started thinking about word games.
Here we go. Some letters don’t work.
Boregasm: getting off while bored. Your lady is lying on her back, staring at the ceiling while you’re giving it to her and she says, “Beige. I think I’ll paint the room beige.”
Contractorgasm: Sex with a builder.
Corpsgasm: sex with a Marine.
Corridorgasm: Sex up against the wall in the hallway.
Choregasm: Having sex because you think you should, not ‘cause you want to.
Diorgasm: Pulling up her pretty designer dress and porking her.
Eeyoregasm: Sex when you’re depressed and moping around like Eeyore the stuffed donkey in the Winnie the Pooh books.
Foregasm: Sex while playing golf.
Floorgasm: Sex on the floor.
Goregasm: What Al and Tipper have.
Hoargasm: Sex in a frosty morning field. (It’s called hoarfrost, guys.)
Igorgasm: Sex with Marty Feldman’s character in “Young Frankenstein.”
Litigatorgasm: Sex with a lawyer.
Moregasm: What you hope your partner is thinking while you’re doing her.
Norgasm: When neither you nor she get off.
Oargasm: Sex in a canoe.
Oregasm: Sex in a mineshaft.
Poorgasm: An inferior quality generic valium. I’m not sure that exists.
Poregasm: In the south, if it’s beyond poor, it’s PORE.
Roargasm: Make her get down on all fours and act like a lion.
Realtorgasm: Getting laid in a house that’s being sold by a realtor during an open house.
Shoregasm: Sex on the beach.
S’moregasm: Putting chocolate and marshmallow on your lady’s fun parts and licking it off. order xanax HER eat the graham cracker.
Snoregasm: Getting head while sleeping.
Soargasm: A reach-around in a two-person glider. Both of you are holding a control xanax no prescription.
Storegasm: Banging your partner in the Walmart bathroom.
Toregasm: Being so big tramadol no prescription you make her bleed.
Torreadorgasm: Sex with a bullfighter.
Victorgasm: Sex with a guy named Victor.
tramadol online Sex while in combat. Gives the term “foxhole” a whole new meaning.
Whoregasm: When you’re so good the hooker gets off.
Yourgasm: The one YOU have.
Zorrogasm: Sex with Zorro. Weak, but I couldn’t think of a Z word. Sue me.
Clever men can be Great Lovers.
For more articles by Russ Longcore, go to Russ Longcore’s Blog.