In college there was no doubt in my mind that I would marry a Mexican. I didn’t want my culture to be diluted. I wanted to live in a Spanish-speaking 
household. I wore Ché Guevara berets with rebozos and Tehuana blouses. I just stopped short of wearing a poncho and purchasing a donkey just to really make a point. I wanted my partner to understand my family, and not judge them for being so incredibly loud.
Fast forward seven years and I am living with my white boyfriend. Throughout my early 20s, I avoided white guys. I didn’t want to “sell out” (though it can be debated that I always was a “sell out”). I didn’t want to live in fear of them saying something racist. I didn’t want to be their “Latina college experience.” Sometimes I believed they wouldn’t even find me attractive. I also didn’t want to have to explain what a “chancla” was or what I meant when I said I was “empachada.” I also didn’t want to explain my Chespirito references (like when I get “la chiripiorca“).
I just wanted them to understand.
But that didn’t work out. The brown men I dated didn’t do well with my independent nature. Some of them were off put by my very non-traditional beliefs and lifestyle. I’m not generalizing, though. I’m sure that there are plenty of educated brown men who are comfortable dating unconventional brown women and don’t secretly want a white girl. Please don’t send me angry emails, for I know these men exist. I, however, never met one who showed any interest in me. Believe me – I looked. Also, the further I got into my education, I’m talking about graduate school, the fewer Latinos I came across.
That is not to say that dating a white man was my last resort. Far from it. I can’t imagine a better partner for myself. I’m lucky to have found him. It’s in meeting him that I let go of many of preconceived notions. For example, not all white people eat boiled hot dogs for dinner, listen to Dave Matthews Band, and do the funky chicken at weddings. These are things I simply did not know. My boyfriend sincerely wanted to know about my culture, he valued my intelligence and was interested in my innumerable opinions.
by OH HELLS NAH via Jezebel.
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I hear ya, 100%! I loved your article and identified with it in so many ways. Love is Love!
LOL I totally understand where she’s coming from. I vowed the same thing and happily found a wonderful Cuban man from a nice catholic family, however, it was my sad discovery to realize that his mother did not like the fact that I was ‘dark skinned’ and did not have ‘colored eyes’. That opened another can of worms for me!
LMFAO @ “not all white people eat boiled hot dogs for dinner, listen to Dave Matthews Band, and do the funky chicken at weddings.”
Did I write this? No, but I completely can relate to it. I only dated Latinos and then I fell for Tom, who is of Portuguese descent but grew up in the barrio. We knew each other in high school and 30 years later would see each other at church. How could I resist a man who escorts his mom to communion almost every Sunday! His first gift to me was a basketful of home-grown vegetables and a beautiful bouquet of irises and sunflowers . When you find that person who is honest, kind, and hardworking, DON’T LET THEM GO, no matter what their ethnicity.
Blah blah the only differences we have as a society in general is our own prejudices. Not only “whites” are racists all other racea are including “latinos” we are not even latinos or whites that term was created by ourselves we are all same human beings thy shit in the toilet as any body else. Now why keep calling us different even in color?? wtf is a “brown men” why the heck? you are a racist of your mind!
I hear you, girl!! I struggle finding a guy that is genuinely interested in me, my family, and culture. When I’m with a brown man, it’s the machismo thing.. I’m too independent for them. When I’m with a white man, am I his token “spicy, sex kitten Boricua”..??
Che Guevara is such an inappropriate symbol to use for “latino-ness.” The man was a ruthless psychopath who helped to consolidate the longest surviving tyranny in the Americas, 50+ years and counting.