Photo: Frank Montanez
Growing up, it was a common sight in my household to see my father in the kitchen, either cooking awesome meals (which he still does) or even washing the dishes (which he also still does). This was a stark difference from the men of his generation: men who probably only entered the kitchen when it was time to raid the fridge or, depending on the design of the house, to get from Point A to Point B.
It’s fair to say that my papí was “ahead of his time” in this aspect, but when I compare him to this new generation of men (men who not only cook, but also clean, wash clothes and assist in the child care), he’s not exactly the definition of a “modern man.” To be clear, this isn’t a knock against him, but more so an indication of the changing role of fathers.
As we approach Father’s Day, it shouldn’t be a shock that fathers have taken a more active role as, um, fathers. In fact, there are many reasons why this has happened. The most obvious is the changing role of women in the workplace. With more and more women working, the stay-at-home wife/mom is becoming (a lot) less common. Women can’t be expected to work eight plus hour days and then come home to be the only ones handling domestic duties (though many still do, unfortunately).
In addition to working more, more women are also becoming the family’s “bread winner.” Fair or not, this gives women more power when it comes to making decisions that affect the entire family.
Lastly, we’re living in a society that is becoming more egalitarian, in many different respects. Even if some would argue that change has been slow, you cannot deny that change has occurred and that societal change will continue. I’m not saying that sexism has been completely eradicated (we are far from that), but it was only 40 years ago that Title IX was passed, giving women rights that many of us take for granted today.
Of course, we can’t pretend that all fathers equally share the cooking, cleaning, and washing duties with their wives. In fact, some fathers aren’t even around, a big problem in the Latino community. But, if you were to compare fathers from 50 years ago, to fathers from 25 years ago, to fathers today, on average, fathers are much more involved today.
And that’s a very good thing.
Even if my dad didn’t wash our clothes or clean our rooms, he sure cooked a hell of a lot of our meals. And seeing that, as a kid, plays a huge role in what I expect from myself when raising my kids, and what my sister expects from her future husband. After all, men aren’t the only ones who benefit (and have benefited) from the changing role of fathers. We all do.
About Cristopher Rubio
I love this article.I come from a long line of irresponsible, absent parent (I might just have “daddy issues” LOL). But I am so happy that my husband “my babies daddy” is so involved in the house. As a working mother it is truly a big support not only with getting things done in the house but also knowing that the kids are safe and well taken care of in the house. My children have a very strong bond with their dad which has been achieved through his effort in building a relationship with them. Yes, two of my children are young, but relationships are different and meaningful in different ways. If my daughter has a fever she runs to daddy for comfort, or won’t fall asleep unless she gets a kiss and a hug from daddy. “I love you Daddy” are very frequent at home. At home we have mommy’s recipes (most of them) and we have daddy’s recipes as well – the buffalo wings are amazing!!!
My father cooked and cleaned when my mother was working… Love my Papi also bailed me out when I needed great Man I hope to one day be as good as he is as a father
My father is old school in some senses but he helps out a great deal. He puts in a lot in cleaning, and he does most of the major grocery shopping by himself. He’ll also cook on occasion. Aside from all that, he has always been there when I really needed some back up. I’d be in a real bind right now if it weren’t for him.
Love the article and love that papi is so involved with our household duties. I am responsible for most but at least once a week he pours me a glass of wine and takes over for the day! I also admire how well he cooks and how much he enjoys it! I hope my kids are paying attention!
I was fortunate to have both patents in my life. I was more fortunate to watch and learn from both of them in the kitchen and doing chores. In my household now, I do 100% of the cooking. My better have works just as hard if not more than I do at her job so it’s only fair. Plus I love to cook.
Great article! My fiac
Good article! Can’t find anything to critique
For sure, fathers have become far more involved. My own father still sits at the table and expects his food to arrive in front of him. He would never think to clear the table or make his bed or do laundry. “women’s work”. But, that being stated, it is still true that women, those who work outside the home and those who labor in it, still perform the majority of household work. Lots of research done on this. Men would, by necessity, have to change and hopefully will continue to do so…
i cook, take them to the park and more
We have come a long way but still have a long way to go for true equality.
Real men cook
my dad cooks and cleans
The changing role of Mami.
Changing role of women in the workplace.
THE REAL AGENTS OF THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES ARE HOMOSEXUALS RECRUITING FOR THEIR TEAM LOL.. THESE TOPICS HAVE HIDDEN AGENDAS BE AWARE FOLKS
Same Sex marriage
women are now sharing the responsibility of work and child care.