Commitment scares a lot of guys. It goes back to the last article on stereotypes. If you have a preconceived idea of what commitment means, and it’s not where you want to be, you are going to have big problems in establishing a loving relationship with a lady.
I know a young man, age 31, who was living with a woman for about a year (no commitment). They broke up last fall and she moved out. Then he met a woman at a car dealership who was the Service Manager. She’d been married three times already and was recently divorced, with kids from each father. The young man went crazy and married her after knowing her only a month. I just heard today that they are now separated and getting a divorce.
That fellow went from being afraid of commitment to making huge commitments nearly overnight. He should get his neck checked out…he might have whiplash.
Commitment in a relationship should come gradually over time. It should be like building a house…first the foundation, then the floors and walls, then the roof. And the foundation must be strong, or the whole house will tumble down when the storms of life hit it.
The best way to make sure that you are not making commitments in error is through total honesty with your lady. You must tell her your deepest thoughts and share what you want from your relationship. But that requires that you actually KNOW what you want from a relationship. If you’re just looking for a good time, and she is looking for a husband, you’re not compatible. Don’t string her along. She’ll come to think of you as an asshole later.
Lack of commitment is based in fear. So don’t put yourself into situations where you have anything to fear. Honesty will be your greatest tool.
Make small commitments in the beginning of your relationship. Simply be on time and keep your word to her. Then build on that with more small commitments. Over time, the bigger commitments won’t seem scary. Then, when you make the biggest commitment…marriage…you’ll be ready and willing.
Guys who are not afraid of commitments make Great Lovers.
By Being Latino Contributor, Russel Longcore.