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The enemies of love, part two: Being cynical

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Are you cynical? Cynicism can destroy a relationship if not unchecked.

Cynicism is defined as an attitude of scornful or jaded negativity, especially a general distrust of the integrity or professed motives of others.

I have a friend who is very cynical and says “if you’re not a cynic in today’s world, you’re not paying attention.” Curiously, this guy is so negative that most of his oldest friends don’t want to be in the same room with him anymore.

You weren’t born cynical. When you were a kid, the world was filled with wonder. So what happened to you?

People become cynical after being used or abused by others. People become cynical when life kicks them around. They end up not trusting anyone for fear of another disappointment or heartache.

If you take that kind of attitude into a relationship, you won’t get far. Most emotionally healthy people are not drawn to cynical people. It’s pretty easy to spot someone who is hopelessly negative all the time. All you have to do is listen to them talk. Everyone is out to screw them…everyone is dishonest…everyone is evil.

I can understand that a cynic is trying to protect his heart from painful experiences. But a person with a closed-off heart and mind will have a tough time giving of himself to another person. Intimacy is nearly impossible since you don’t trust anyone not to hurt you. That can get lonely after a while….which will likely make you even more cynical.

Cynicism can spiral downward into depression.

So how can you break the cycle?

Positive self-talk is crucial to ending your cynical attitude. Also, make an effort to find the good attributes of other people, then concentrate on the good things.

The Law of Attraction says that you get more of the things you focus your attention upon. Cynical behavior gets you more disappointment. So change your focus to the positive side of life.

Self talk is vital to maintaining ANY attitude. Most of the unhappiness in our life comes because we listen to ourselves more than we talk to ourselves. If you know you’re cynical and want to change, you’ll have to tell yourself positive words. I recommend you speak to yourself out loud. You brain needs to hear your own words in your own voice. Repeat positive words over and over. In time, you’ll actually begin to feel better. And when you feel better, you are more pleasant to be with.

Emotionally healthy women are not drawn to cynical men. They are drawn to men who can trust and love. Work hard at putting aside cynicism. I don’t mean that you should deny that the events that made you cynical do exist. But how you process it affects your life every day. You get to choose what you think about.

A cynic cannot be a Great Lover. Be a Great Lover.


For more articles by Russ Longcore, go to Russ Longcore’s Blog.

About Being Latino Contributors

Being Latino contributors consists of individuals and partner organizations. They join us in our goal of providing our audience with a communication platform designed to educate, entertain and connect all peoples across the global Latino spectrum. Together we aim to break down barriers and foster unity and empowerment through informative, thought-provoking dialogue and exchanging of ideas. Giving a unified voice to the multitude of communities that identify with the multidimensional culture that is Latino.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author and should not be understood to be shared by Being Latino, Inc.

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