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Puerto Ricans upset that Romney kept trying to hand everyone his car keys

Mitt Romney and Ricardo Santorum continued their forbidden dance for the Republican presidential nomination as each recently spent time trying to convince Puerto Ricans that he was the least despicable option.

During their time on the island, both candidates worked tirelessly to leave a lasting impression. According to many, Romney seemed to have been more successful in being remembered.

He wasted no time. Immediately after his plane touched down, Romney looked at those who had gathered on the tarmac to greet him – a group that including local media, high ranking politicians, and notable businesspeople – and promptly said, “I’m sorry. This is unexpected. I didn’t bring enough cash to tip all of you, but if you let me get to an ATM I can get you all a ‘tip-o’. You know, ‘dinero’?” He then rubbed his forefinger and thumb together and smirked.

At every stop Romney tossed his keys to the nearest Puerto Rican, and trotted off with his monocle and top hat:

Many perplexed island residents stood dumbfounded after they were mistaken for valets. A local university professor corrected mister Romney and returned the keys. Romney apologized profusely and then handed the keys to a toddler standing nearby.

After a week of Santorum and Romney – one notable pro-statehood supported summed her feelings up this way “On second thought, fuck statehood.”

Your handsome and humble servant-

El Guapo

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Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author and should not be understood to be shared by Being Latino, Inc.


  1. puerto rican says:

    What a bigot

  2. Hey Juanito Keep the car clean and dont scratch it.

  3. lol thats funny, I would had said Thank you for the gift.

  4. i had someone do that to me in downtown chicago. i should of chucked there keys into the lake.

  5. lol i agree with Oscar-I need a new ride.

  6. First you talk about legalizing crack, now this obviously fake, stupid propaganda.

  7. If it is true I’ll take the keys my “Yota” is getting kind of old.

  8. Were they dressed like a valet? Valets typically have a shirt or jacket saying they are valets.

  9. There’s always someone who believes everything on the internet. Lol

  10. This moron just doesn’t get it….Far from reality.

  11. Hilarious!

  12. This can not be true.

  13. Some people have never heard of Political Satire.

  14. Yen… It goes to show the intelligence of the average person(Obama supporter). The article was obviously satirical propaganda. It quotes no sources, and it sounds absolutely ridiculous. It would be funny if it was advertised as satire, but instead it’s just propaganda.

  15. Now, that’s pretty stupid of him. Why would he give his keys to a bunch of Boricuas? When I’m in PR, I make sure I park my own shhhh! (Lmao, ez ppl, I’m just joking just like the author of this article)

  16. well when I was in Outdoor World I went up to some white boy and started describing what I was looking for and he said “I don’t work here.” lmao

  17. Obama 2012!!

  18. I am having a hard time believing this story. Why would he have keys if he got off the plane? It would be nice if there was a video. I think this article is BS.

  19. Does being Latino mean you will believe anything?

  20. Funny. Funnier still are the people on this thread who think this article is serious! JAJAJAJA!!

  21. Most Latinos on BL believe everything Obama tells them.

  22. Most conservatives believe everything Fox news throws at them.

  23. Mario, are you a Republican because you want to be accepted by Anglos?

  24. Wow!! I have no words for either Romney or Santorum! I’m just shaking my head at them. They truly cannot be helped!

  25. Romney is a typical white motherf—-r. He thinks we won’t find out about it in the states. News to Romney-Stop smiling that phoney grin. You ain’t fooling nobody s—h–d.

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