In a move that surprised GOP stalwarts, Governor and Republican nominee candidate Mitt Romney has filed for his Mexican citizenship on Wednesday, citing the move as a way to get in contact with his ‘Latino roots’. Romney is able to do this because his father, George Romney, was born into an American Mormon colony in the Mexican state of Chihuahua. Under current naturalization and citizenship laws, Mitt Romney was able to establish his citizenry by solely producing his birth certificate and identification.
Romney addressed reporters outside of the Mexican consulate in Washington D.C., thumbing through a Spanish-English dictionary during his comments.
“I am very proud, or orgulloso at what I’ve done here today. It’s something that I’ve been thinking about doing for some time, as a way to connect with my roots y mi comunidad,” he commented, thumbing quickly through the dictionary’s pages. “I fully intend to make every attempt to extend goodwill and faith to our Latino constituents, and I hope that now that I am officially one of them. Somos Latinos…maridos…” he said, with a look of puzzlement on his face.
From beneath the podium, Romney procured a serape, which he draped gingerly over his suit. He looked amongst his security detail and said, “Vamos, amigos. Tengo hombre.” The group boarded his campaign bus, which now sported a grammatical tilde of the ‘n’, letting well wishers and would be votes to nominate Romñey in 2012.
According to reports, the Romney campaign was seeking to relish in their new Latino culture, and made almost a direct beeline towards the nearest Taco Bell.
A reporter with Being Latino recorded the following exchange in the drive-through:
Taco Bell Employee: Welcome to Taco Bell, how can I help you?
Mitt Romney: Yes, uh, sorry. Sí, señora. Queremos tacos muchos para almorzar. Me Nintendo?
TBE: Excuse me? I’m sorry sir – I didn’t catch that.
MR: Tacos. We want them, gringo. We’ll have 15 of your Doritos Locos Tacos mas finas, por favor.
TBE: 15 Doritos Locos? Absolutely. Anything to drink?
MR: Do you have bachata?
TBE: Do you mean…horchata?
MR: Of course – I said that.
TBE: This is a Taco Bell, sir. We don’t serve horchata here.
MR: Que lástima. Well, I guess we’ll have 15 ‘Baja Blast’ Mountain Dews.
Mitt Romney and his bus pulled over into the parking lot that adjoined the Taco Bell with a neighboring Walmart. With orange Doritos crumbs and dust all over his hands and lips, Governor Romney proclaimed, with a mouth full of taco, ‘Me encanta de estar Latino!’