My maternal abuela and abuelo (they answer to “granma” and “granpa”; names given to them by my younger cousin when she was just a toddler) and their children lived in Reynosa, Tamaulipas, Mexico. They soon realized that the best thing for their family would be to move to the U. S. My mother, the third-oldest of ten children, was 13 years old when they finally moved to a tiny two-bedroom house in nearby Pharr, Texas.
When it was time for the onions to be harvested in the nearby fields, both parents and children would go from work and school to work in the fields until the sunset, only to do the same thing again the next day. Summers spent in Michigan and Indiana to pick strawberries and clear fields helped make ends meet.
My paternal abuela, “Mama Ely” still lives in San Salvador, El Salvador and, along with my late abuelo Ricardo, was the mother to seven children. Although they lived in a relatively safe part of the country, her family was still witness to one of the most brutal periods in Latin American history: the Salvadoran Civil War of the 1980s was responsible for the death of over 70,000 Salvadorans.
Visiting El Salvador was expensive and not always possible for us, but she always made her annual trip to Texas to visit us. To this day she always makes sure to give me a “birthday gift” – money accompanied with a handwritten message telling me how much she loves me and how she loves my smile.
I can tell you these things about my grandparents because I’ve heard it from their own mouths through the various times that I’ve conversed with them. I feel very blessed to say that I have a great relationship with my grandparents. Much in the way maturity helps you understand your parents better, the same exact thing happens with your grandparents. You begin to notice that even though you grew up decades apart, and in many cases, completely different countries, you really aren’t that different from them.
I worry that in this age of Twitter, Facebook, and non-stop texting, many of my younger cousins (and others in the larger Latino community) will never get a chance (or make the time) to sit down and form a meaningful relationship with their grandparents. The sabiduría they possess is something you don’t get by reading a book, passing the bar exam, or getting your PhD.
It comes from decades of living, making mistakes, and finding a better way to do things. Take the time to forge a meaningful relationship with your abuelos, if you still have them. Visit them, ask them about their lives, tell them about yours. You’ll soon learn that the person you are today is shaped, in large part, by the sacrifces they made long ago and the lives they continue to live today.
To learn more about Cris, visit ElKaminoReal.
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Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are solely those
of the author and should not be understood to be shared by Being Latino, Inc.
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About Cristopher Rubio
One of the things that sometimes makes it more difficult to interact with our grandparents is the language barrier. A lot of times, the grandkids know little or no Spanish, and the same can be said about the grandparents with English. While that may hurt communication, maybe it’s some motivation to learn Spanish. Sometimes just physically being there makes is huge for the grandparents.
Great article. I have to agree: these social network sites have definitely changed the way things work. I know many of my friends that have not met their grandparents or developed. I also realized that I have not developed that bond with mine. My maternal grandparents are in El Salvador. My paternal grandma died when I was young and my dad never really met his father until I was around 4. If I had the opportunity to I would though. I think you learn about your country primarily through your family. I have to go to El Salvador soon.
Cris, you’ve hit this on the spot. What you said is so true. I think it really is up to us to make this relationship–our grandparents grew up in such a different time and we live at a much faster pace than they ever did. I never knew really my paternal grandparents, but my “granpa & granma” were always my mothers parents. We never visited them much–I went 14 years w/o seeing them because of money and just life situations. But now, we’re closer than ever. The last time I was there, I taught my grandpa to use Skype, so he goes over to my cousin’s a lot to use it! He actually helped me make my recent decision to make a recent change with work. It’s true that you don’t really know where you’re going until you know where you’ve been. My mom’s parents formed who she is, and she formed who I am–it’s so necessary to keep those ties.
I truly enjoyed reading your article and I would definitely encourage my kids to read it so they understand how valuable grandparents can be in their lives and how much they can gain from their rich experiences while bonding with them.
Wonderful article…we need more like these. maybe then this younger generation and by that I’m icluding all those between 10-30 years old will build up the relationship with thier grandparents if they have them. I lost my grandmother over 20 years ago and thought I would die….but throughout the year I’ve been able to live through her memories and good advise she gave me. In fact there are days that I catch myself speaking out loud to her and then remembering she gone. But I say gone physically but in spirit she’s still very alive. I feel that if were not for and yes my parents God know what my life would be today. So please continue to write these wonderful articles…it’s never too late and you know what they say in spanish…Nunca es tarde cuando la dicha es buena. I look forward to reading more of your articles. God bless <3
Good article! As parents with children, we play a role in the communication our children have with their grandparents. Families are getting smaller and smaller and making sure your kids continue to visit or call their grandparents is an example to be set by the parents. Abuelos need the extra love and attention and look forward to the visits from the grandkids. I am happy to say that my siblings, yes the family of ten Cris mentioned, has set good example to their children. Sunday’s at grandmas and grandpas is proof of it.
This is very true. I feel so lucky to have both of my grandmothers alive and I have definitely spent time talking to them and listening to their stories. Those are moments I will forever cherish.
a very simple but beautiful article. i really enjoyed reading it, keep up the good work.
That was a real good article. I very much liked the last sentence.
Great post. This is motivation to contact my grandmother in Mexico and establish a better relationship with her.
You’re so right. I feel blessed that I got to meet 3 of my grandparents before it was too late. It was life changing to spend those days with them and understand not just where I come from, but who I come from…
Asking them about what their lives were like when they were younger is most fascinating. My paternal grandfather would tell me stories about how he had to travel by horse to the opposite side of the ‘cierra’ to woo grandmother. Also, their marriage certificate is a three page hand written document detailing the ceremony, in which they were formally recognized as ‘indios indigenos,’ crazy stuff. Great article, definitely a very important relationship to maintain.