by Adriana Villavicencio
Father’s Day. For some, the holiday is about celebrating dad with a tie and a well-cooked pernil. For some of us, though, Father’s Day can be a painful reminder that our fathers aren’t here – sometimes by his choosing, sometimes not. In either case, the week of weepy commercials featuring picture perfect fathers and stores stocked with cards about the best dads on earth can make someone without a father around want to hide until the third Monday of June.
But perhaps we should expand our notion of Father’s Day to include those who have been like fathers. Those who will not ever replace them, but who have contributed to our lives in the special ways that fathers do.
Often, these people are our very own moms. Twenty five percent of Hispanic children are raised by single mothers who must serve, out of necessity, as mother and father (and everything else) to their children. That’s why on Father’s Day, I celebrate my mom. I am thankful to my dad for giving me life, my proclivity to dance all night, and my penchant for clothes with flair and fancy shoes. But on Father’s Day, I celebrate my mother for all the gifts she gave and lessons she passed on.
Querida madrecita,
You may not have taught me how to kick a ball around, but you taught me how to roll with the punches and stay strong in the face of adversity.
You may not have shown me how to build things with my hands, but you gave me the tools to create the kind of life that fills me with joy and inspiration.
You may not have taught me how to drive, but you taught me how to navigate through the windy roads and unexpected twists of life.
You never taught me how to tie a tie, but you taught me how to link, bind, and connect with people – heart open and hands reached out.
You never taught me how to swim, but you taught me how to fly on my own and without reservation.
You may not have taught me some things a father could have, but your love and support showed me where I could find them within myself.
To my mami and all the mothers who do it all every day, a belated Happy Father’s Day.
To learn more about Adriana, visit The Radical Ideas.
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Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are solely those
of the author and should not be understood to be shared by Being Latino, Inc.
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About Adriana Villavicencio
Adriana,
GRACIAS for this poignant reflection on what father’s day means to you. Having raised a vibrant, fearless, talented beautiful 19-year old hija all by myself, I appreciated reading the beautiful words you offered. I too grew up without my biological father, and relied upon older brothers to fill the big shoes of being el hombre de la casa. Fortunately, male mentors can easily become role models for children growing up without fathers at home. At some point in our society, we must all (women and men) understand that youth in our communities are indeed a part of our extended familia and we must reach out and provide a helping hand to single mothers & fathers.
The good news is that Mother’s Day is everyday and we happily celebrate the many roles we have in all we do. Madre una…
A beautiful love letter to all the parents who step up every day!
Beautiful!
Gracias Fran. That was was beautiful and poignant. Thank you sharing a part of your story. Many blessings!
Thank you, Eileen. It came straight from the heart!
Thank you, Lovelink!
Just a thought, but, do we ever thank single Father’s on Mother’s Day? Although the amount of single Father’s has to be less than the number of single Mother’s, I still wonder…
I don’t have any single fathers in my life to thank, but if I did, I probably would. Nothing’s stopping you…go ahead.
Everyone has their own personal stories, and I appreciate yours, not trying to discredit your experience at all. Just saying that, unfortunately, both Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are regarded in the same fashion generally. Of course there are a ton of reasons (almost all of which are men’s fault) why this is so.
sorry *not regarded in the same fashion*
What about fathers who play the double role of being both a father and a mother.
They were mentioned on mother’s day.
I LOVE THIS! Brought tears to my eyes…
My mom was my only parent not by choice, my dad was burned in a fire and severe brain damage.mom did a good job raising us.
I would like to honor my Dad who played both roles!!! He is the best <3
Well put
Thank you for this article! I was raised by a single mom and I’ve made sure to acknowledge her for all she did every year on Mothers and Fathers day.